Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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