Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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