Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
