if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
