he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
