Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
