He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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