there was a trapeze. enough said
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
