im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
