Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
