Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
