Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
