I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I will be naked everywhere
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
