Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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