i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
