i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize