just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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