My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
