Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
it's like iHOP with fire
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
