I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
