I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
