you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
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