yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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