There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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