i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
