I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
