she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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