I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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