omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's blow job season.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
