I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
This is not my ceiling
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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