The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
