onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I think my moral compass just broke
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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