spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
