you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
