at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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