Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
