Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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