shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
