my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize