I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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