I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
