obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
