Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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