You're so nebulous sometimes
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
