i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
