I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
