Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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