In America we eat man semen.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
