nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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