Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
