just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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