Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
