I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
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