But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
