Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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