Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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