Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
