So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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