I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize