what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
