I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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