k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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