I want to have your abortion
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
