this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
