I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
